All Year Around Falling in Love
by mirroredsakura
Summary: HikaruxKaoru. Twincest, twinsex. Against a backdrop of the five seasons yes, five, the twins have discovered a new game to play. Firsttime sex.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** All Year Around Falling in Love  
**Author:** **mirroredsakura**  
**Fandom:** Ouran High School Host Club  
**Rating:** R? Just to be on the safe side, I guess.  
**Pairing:** HikaruxKaoru  
**Warnings:**...A talking penis. Oh, and twincest, naturally.

**Summary:**Against a backdrop of the five seasons (yes, I said five), the twins have discovered a new game to play.

**Disclaimers:**Not mine, though I certainly wish they were. The lyric fragments scattered throughout (and the title too) is "All Year Around Falling in Love" by L'Arc~en~Ciel. Many thanks to **haruka** for his lyrics and his translations, even though he'll never know that I wrote this and might possibly be horrified by what his work has been put to use for. (I still love you, don't hate me!)

**Notes:** Done for **miya_fangirl** because she asked so nicely (over a span of about four repeated comments ;p). It started out small and was supposed to be a one-shot. And then it grew. And grew. And _grew_. Right now, it's looking to be about two or three chapters long, omg.

**xxxx**

少し不思議なくらい惹かれてくのさ  
愛だけじゃ足りない  
君へ All year around falling in love

_(It's a little strange how fascinated I am by you  
Love just isn't enough  
To you All year around falling in love)_

**x**

Hikaru loved Kaoru. Kaoru loved Hikaru. Yeah, they knew that.

So?

It was a game, their _~forbidden brotherly love~_. It was something the girls asked for, something that made their lives just a little bit more amusing. It was why they did it. But real intimacy?

Naaaaaaaaah… It'd be _expected_ and that wouldn't be any fun at all. It was better like this. Like one more little secret kept hidden from the rest of the world.

And then Kaoru woke up one morning with a hard-on.

That wasn't so unusual. He was a boy. And it would have been rather worrying to have gone through the sixteen years of his life without once getting a morning wood.

But he also woke up to Hikaru's _hand_ on his hard-on which was a little more unusual. And moaning. And thrusting hips. More importantly, _his_ moans and thrusting hips.

That couldn't be good.

_No,_ his sleep-addled brain repeated helpfully for him, _not good_.

Which was why Hikaru woke up that morning on the floor to a fast-swelling bruise on his head and the sweet sounds of Kaoru screaming like a girl as he clutched the sheets to his chest. But not before Kaoru's penis screamed even louder in frustration and told his brain just what it could do with its completely misplaced logic.

Suffice to say, it made for an awkward morning. Kaoru made a point to spend an extra long time in the shower, which cut into breakfast, which left Hikaru to try and explain to the maids how exactly he'd managed to crash-land his head on a large porcelain elephant statue on the other side of the room all by himself.

Getting to school didn't help matters much. Kaoru _continued_ to avoid answering his questions and if Hikaru didn't know better—and if there weren't several girls hiding behind one of the pillars trying to take unofficial snapshots at them—he could've sworn Kaoru was _actually_ blushing and trying to avoid his eyes.

Or maybe something was catching his brother's eye? He followed the line of Kaoru's eyes and wondered what might be so interesting about some nameless girl's shoes, shiny and brightly polished that they were.

…Maybe it was the _girl_ who'd caught Kaoru's eye? Hikaru frowned, sizing her up as they passed. Nothing special—mousy brown hair, glasses… she fainted with a blissful shriek upon direct eye contact too. Nah… couldn't be. Kaoru wouldn't be interested in someone so _boooooring~_

Which meant Kaoru really _was_ trying to avoid his eyes.

Hikaru thought this was rather weird.

Having taken care of the most noticeable problem in the shower and having skillfully—in his opinion—deflected his brother's curiosity, Kaoru was busy thinking. This was turning out to be something infinitely more difficult to do than he'd guessed because Hikaru kept _distracting _him. He was too shiny, Kaoru decided after the tenth surreptitious glance at his brother. Yes. Way too shiny and eye-catching for his own good. But they were identical twins… did that make _him_ way too shiny too?

However, every time he flicked his eyes up at a particular girl's face to test this theory, they'd already keeled over in a dead faint. After the sixth, he stole another look at his brother, whom he caught eyeing the same girl with a half-frown. Was it _his_ fault? How was he supposed to test his own shininess if Hikaru's shininess kept beating him to it?

But that hadn't been what he'd been trying to think about.

He'd been trying to think of math. Candle wax. Cabbages and kings. Anything non-Hikaru-related which was much harder than it should be because _everything_ was Hikaru-related. Hikaru was good at math though obviously not as good at math as he was. And candle wax made him think of that joke they'd pulled on that girl with the funny bondage magazine who they'd sent gibbering into a corner of the school foaming at the mouth with hearts in her eyes. Cabbages were round and kind of shaped like Hikaru's head, although Kaoru would have gotten mad at anyone else who likened his brother's head to a cabbage because that would mean that someone might also be trying to call _him_ a cabbage head which he didn't think was much of a compliment. As for kings…

That made him think of Tono. Which made him think of the Host Club which made him think about Hikaru. Which was just what he was trying to avoid thinking about because then he thought about Hikaru's hands which made him think of Hikaru's hands attached to his penis, which made him think of moaning and moving and naked and—

"I have to go to the bathroom!"

He was on his feet and his chair had landed on the ground behind him and the teacher was looking at him funny—and the rest of the class, but they always looked at him funny so that was fine, and when had he gotten to class, anyway?—but that didn't matter because he needed to go to the bathroom _right now_. As soon as the teacher opened his mouth to say something, he was out the door and halfway down the hall, a trail of dust billowing after him despite the immaculately-swept floor.

The class blinked. Hikaru raised an eyebrow. Haruhi looked up from her book frighteningly nonplussed.

Several minutes later Kaoru had his pants yanked down around his ankles and his cock in his hand as he leaned back against the door of the bathroom stall and shook his head over the stupidity of getting a hard-on over his _brother_ in the middle of class. It was silly. It was pubescent. And why were his pants on the floor, when he could've just unzipped the fly anyway?

"Why are your pants on the floor if you could've just unzipped the fly?" asked a cheerfully curious and altogether entirely too familiar voice from above. He looked up, horrified, to see his twin peering cheerfully over the dividing walls of the stalls, grinning owlishly at him like he wasn't invading his brother's privacy or anything.

Kaoru screamed. Or at least, he would have if Hikaru hadn't dived forward to slap a hand across his mouth and effectively prevented the screaming and subsequently the invading fangirls/school authorities. Hikaru hoped Kaoru knew how much effort doing this took as it was rather painful to have what amounted to a metal bar shoving his internal organs against his ribs, and put him in a rather awkward position dangling over the stall divider at an impossible angle. Several moments later, Hikaru felt gravity kick him in the balls for defying her, even if for a brief moment, and he landed in a heap on the floor clutching his groin protectively in one hand and rubbing his much-abused head with the other. It was clearly not a good day.

He sat up to see a Kaoru plastered to the door in horrified shock, and the tip of Kaoru's penis on his nose. He blinked. He looked cross-eyed at it. Kaoru, frozen, did not move. He flicked it upwards off his nose, and it bounced, coming right back to slap him lightly on the nose again. Which felt kind of weird and it was _funny_ to see Kaoru try and bite back what looked like a heartfelt curse when he did that. Oh right. Still hard. That might've been a bit painful.

...But it didn't look like it from the way Kaoru had his hands knotted into white-knuckled fists, and the way his face got all scrunchy—especially his eyebrows—with the gritted teeth and all. Hikaru raised an eyebrow up at his twin, puzzling this new mystery. You'd think if he was so desperate to get off, he'd just _do_ it. It wasn't as if he were _embarrassed _or anythi—

—Actually that might explain the blushing because Kaoru was doing it again.

Did it have something to do with his penis? He refocused on the thing still balanced neatly on the tip of his nose and poked it, which made it do the bounce thing again. Didn't look like there was anything wrong with it. He tried for flippant and subtle. "Silly Kaoru, do you need my help for this too?"

That didn't seem to be the right thing to say because the next moment he found himself physically hauled up and tossed out the bathroom door which promptly slammed shut after him. Several seconds later, it opened again, but just enough for a hand to snake out and hang up a glowing neon "IN USE" sign before it closed with another bang. No one questioned its appearance or where exactly Kaoru had snatched it from.

Hikaru sat in the exact spot he'd landed on—the girl didn't seem to be complaining, but that could very well be because she was rather unconscious and unattractively foaming at the mouth—for a full minute as he swiftly put the pieces together and a smugly devious smile began to form on his face.

He let out a thoughtful "_Hehhhh_…" plans already assembling themselves in his mind.

**x**

春が来たなら花をあげよう

_(If the spring comes, I'll give you flowers)_

**x**

The entire Host Club, Kaoru decided, was against him.

No really. They were.

Today's theme had been set in ancient China and he'd looked forward to billowing costumes and heavy brocades… stuff that might actually come in handy if the stern talking-to his penis had received earlier hadn't been enough. But no. Oh no. Change of plans, Kyouya said. Terrible accident, Kyouya said. Vanilla ice cream splattered all over the costumes, Kyouya said.

Kaoru smelled a rat. Except he didn't because this was Ouran after all and they'd never let a rat in here, but that wasn't the point because if they _did _allow rats in here he'd… probably still not be able to smell it because he didn't know how rats smelled like. But _that didn't mean_ he didn't recognize the signs of a thorough Hitachin pranking.

Of course it had to be today. And vanilla ice cream. Of course.

He could, he thought, really learn to hate his brother.

He could also really learn to hate Tono. Stupid king.

Because their illustrious leader had decided that even though some dastardly fiend had destroyed the day's costumes, the theme, the _main theme!_ would go on! Yes, they would not be stopped by this transparent attempt to spoil the Host Club's glory! _THEY WOULD—_

And that was about the time Haruhi took it upon herself to reach up and drag the king off his soapbox—gold-plated and studded over with precious gems, of course—by the ear for which the majority of them were quite grateful for.

But that didn't stop the day's theme from being fabulously draped across the entirety of the room. Five days of the week, five seasons.

Yes, their king _did_ know there were only four seasons, but there were five days of the week, so what was wrong with coming out with another season just to match? The laws of nature were nothing compared to the will of the Ouran High School Host Club King.

Today was Spring, and the 3rd Music Room was transformed into an utter bower of cherry tree branches trailing delicate pink petals, the polished tiles of the floor hidden beneath a carpet of lush grass. There were some things money couldn't buy, Haruhi liked to try and tell them, but they all knew for a fact that beauty certainly wasn't one of them.

So there were, forced to continue on with the day's activities in their uniforms. Which, as Kaoru could unfortunately tell from personal experience now, were uncomfortably tight at _exactly_ the wrong moments. And Hikaru seemed more fiendishly gleeful to lay hands on his twin than he normally did which was somewhat worrisome.

"Ah… hime-tachi," he was telling the girls staring in rapt attention at his arms around his brother's neck from behind their raised teacups, "if only you had seen the distress our dear Kaoru was in upon his early disappearance from this morning's class… oh, it was such a sight to behold—"

"Hikaru! You're not supposed to tell them that!" he was only half-acting when he jerked a hand up to hide his blushing cheeks. "How _could_ you, Hikaru?" A quick turn of his head was enough to smoothly add the eye droplets, so by the time the girls could see his face again there were tears brimming artfully at the corners of his eyes.

"Oh… my dear Kaoru… I did not think… please forgive me…" His chin was caught between Hikaru's fingers, and he looked up into his twin's eyes to see the concern pasted on every feature of that face, and the laughter deepset in his eyes that neither of them could ever really hide.

"Hikaru…" he breathed, and right on cue, the two girls turned as one to hold each other and squeal loudly into each other's shoulders, unmindful of the teacups they still clutched, as the proclaimed the wonders of such forbidden brotherly love! Kaoru couldn't help the smirk that twisted the corner of his lips upward, and he could feel himself relaxing as he settled back into that ridiculously easy role—

_Mmph_.

This was weird. He could feel his eyes widen to astronomical proportions and he tried frantically to catch his twin's gaze, which was a little impossible because he was currently kissing…

Hikaru was _kissing_ him.

Hard.

On the lips.

This was really, really, _really_ weird.

Kaoru could feel himself going slack-jawed. Which didn't happen very often at all.

Hikaru seemed to notice this with some delight because a moment later, there was a tongue in his mouth.

Well, a second tongue. That was not his own. Although it did seem to like playing with his tongue all too much… massaging it and twirling around it in such a way as if to make a point, although what that point was Kaoru wasn't really sure of because being _kissed_ by Hikaru was enough of—

His penis, which had up until now been sulking between his legs from his firm talking-to, decided it was the perfect time to stand up and yell the answer to his brain at the top of its lungs.

Which it did. But it could've been cheating and have gotten quite a big hint from the fact that he had Hikaru's hand down his pants.

Wait.

_Hikaruhad a hand down his pants._

Kaoru jerked back with a strangled "_buh?_" as he tried to make sense of the hand in his pants. Starting with how exactly Hikaru could get a hand down his uncomfortably tight pants anyway? But that wasn't the most important thing to focus so much as exactly _why_ Hikaru _still_ had a hand down his pants and why he'd been kissing Kaoru in the first place because the girls were just turning back from the simultaneous squee right now, which meant it had clearly not been a show for them. The hand slipped away, and his penis sobbed at its loss for the second time that day. It might even have tried to divorce Kaoru's brain entirely for making him pull back, but his brain replied coolly that it held all the pleasure centers anyway so Kaoru's penis would still be rather unhappy without it. Kaoru's penis clearly felt so unloved it stood up all the straighter as if trying to follow in the direction of Hikaru's hand.

With a smirk, Hikaru took the situation into his own hands—literally, though not in such a startling way as he had just a few moments ago—and swept his startled brother up into his arms.

"Ah… forgive us, hime-tachi, I believe I must take Kaoru away so that I might help him reaffirm the bonds of our love," he told the girls dramatically, giving them that particularly devilish Hitachin grin that sent them swooning against each other in delirious paroxysm of bliss.

Well that was one problem easily taken care of. Hkaru was quite content to tackle the second, more enjoyable one, immediately.

Kyouya, having seen the entire thing, frowned and adjusted his glasses, looking as if he intended to stop Hikaru in his tracks—and he couldn't let that happen right now because soon Kaoru would realize just what on Earth was happening and would start wriggling, which was very hard to hold onto. So with a jerk of his head, he pointed out the video camera that had been aimed at the exact place they'd previously been sitting. As if that weren't obvious enough, yen signs began popping up all around the twins' heads as Hikaru continued to walk away with his odd burden.

And so their shadow king let them go, content with taking it out of the twins' share of the promised video's earnings.

Kaoru regained presence of mind to sputter "What was _that_ about?" when Hikaru dumped him unceremoniously in a corner behind a large rosebush. Neither of them thought to care as to why there was a rosebush taking part in the Spring cherry blossom theme party as long as it was there and it promised privacy.

"What does it look like, my dear Kaoru?" Hikaru replied, dropping gracefully to his knees and leaning forward to brace his weight on his hands, which just brought his face closer to his twin's. "I'm here to help you with this little problem, of course."

"H-how?" It was a weird feeling, their long-played game coming to life. Kaoru felt certain his part should be scripted somewhere. Hikaru seemed to know _his_ part just fine which Kaoru didn't find very fair at all.

"_Weeellll_… first things first, _this_ looks like it could use some attention…"

Kaoru's penis agreed all too eagerly and sang Hikaru praises at the top of its nonexistent lungs as Hikaru sprawled with languid grace between Kaoru's legs, a hand tugging at the button and zip of his pants. Kaoru himself wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do because somewhere in the back of his head, there was that faint remembering business that there was some sort of rule against your twin offering you sexual favors. Or was it accepting sexual favors from your twin? Or both?

Either way, Kaoru thought he was supposed to do a bit more complaining than he was here, but Hikaru had that _grin_ on his face, the same one they had when they were planning one of their grand jokes. Well Kaoru was always up for a new game to play, and if he got off along the way, that just made the game that much better, didn't it? Especially when Hikaru's hand could do _thaaaaaaaaat_…

And then the rosebush started talking.

"…Tamaki-sempai, I am _not_ going to wear that."

"But my precious Haruhi~! Daddy wants to see his beautiful girl in—_GACK!_"

Hikaru had to turn to look then because with all his extensive knowledge of clothes and numerous fabrics, he had never heard of _gack_ and it piqued his curiosity—oh.

_Gack_.

Kaoru made a superhuman effort to open his eyes and turn his head, since Hikaru hadn't exactly stopped moving his hand, but some part of his brain realized the voices were probably an important something to notice, despite his penis's reassurances that they was not important in the least. And stared.

Haruhi blinked at them. Then shrugged and said "oh." Tono had a look of stark horror on his face and he looked like he was trying to hide behind the rookie. He then closed his mouth into a stern line, reached over, broke off several roses and arrayed them in a neat line. "There. You and your homo homo love love will stay over _there_ and don't you dare cross and infect me with your—Haruhi? Haruhiiiiii!"

He had turned back to more important matters, like dressing his beloved Haruhi in the pretty clothes his pretty Haruhi's utter cuteness required but she had disappeared while he'd been busy protecting them from the creepy Hitachin love love! He glared at them for interrupting his most important task and dashed out from behind the rosebush, intent on recapturing his precious, a flurry of rose petals and trailing frilly dresses fluttering in his wake.

Kaoru turned back to more important matters, like bucking up one last time and coming hard into Hikaru's hand with a sharp cry before he slumped bonelessly back into the rosebush. That thankfully went unnoticed by the crowds on the other side of the bush because Tono had decided that was a perfect time to start up another one of his brilliantly captivating—and impossibly loud—speeches. Hikaru was taken rather by surprise since he'd been busy concentrating on the fleeing Tono and not at the penis in his hand, although Kaoru's penis hadn't seemed to mind this _at all_.

Well, he had certainly helped with Kaoru's problem, quite efficiently too in fact, but now his hand was covered in sticky, and so was his face, so that was a bit messy. And he'd already gone and handed both his handkerchief and his spare to the lovely young ladies that had burst into tears of joy once graced with his presence which left him handkerchief-less which wasn't very suitable for a host, if he thought so himself.

He pulled his hand back though, after glancing up once to check out the state of his brother's other head, since rosebushes were generally thorny affairs and landing your head on one might get you rather spiky, but it seemed this rosebush was quite content being spineless and non-poky. Which was all the better for Kaoru's head, he supposed, lapping slowly at the sticky on his palm. It didn't taste bad either, and he sucked it slowly off his fingers as he blinked at his brother who was just beginning to raise his head—the one with eyes and the nose and the mouth parts, not miscellaneous penis parts—to stare wide-eyed at him. And his _other_ head, this time _with _miscellaneous penis parts twitched. Kaoru _groaned_ at him. As if he hadn't been nice and just done that thing with his hand, what sort of thank you was that?

It wasn't like he'd asked for anything in return, though that was beginning to sound like a better idea from the way Kaoru was looking at him as he cleaned off his hand—

…Oh. _Oh._

He grinned, crawling forward up along Kaoru's heaving chest. "Want a taste?" he purred, flicking his tongue out towards Kaoru's lips.

Kaoru just blinked at him and then he blushed at him too, which wasn't much of an answer so he shrugged and pulled back and started hunting around for a nice large leaf to wipe off his face since clearly his newfound cleaning methods weren't to Kaoru's taste.

Or actually, it was _very much _Kaoru's taste, but that wasn't what he'd meant, and—oh, that was nice of him.

He hummed his appreciation as Kaoru produced a handkerchief, leaned over, and began wiping his face for him. Kaoru still hadn't stopped blushing though, which was fine because a blushing Kaoru was always plenty attractive to marauding Hikarus after all. He had a feeling _he_ might be blushing too, but that wasn't worth noticing unless he had a mirror on hand, which he didn't, or Kaoru mentioned it explicitly, which he seemed to preoccupied to do. Thus, Hikaru was content to submit to his face-cleaning like a good little Hikaru, until he opened his mouth just the slightest bit and caught Kaoru's middle finger between his lips. It made him smile because Kaoru did that swallowing thing, like when he was nervous, because he wasn't nervous often.

Kaoru froze and Hikaru had a split-second to notice that Kaoru had his _thinking_ face on before he pulled him up so that the two of them were face-to-face. He was laughing at him, but it was suddenly that low laugh, the one that said whatever he was laughing about wasn't really funny. "Do you really want to play this game?"

He paused, letting Kaoru's finger slip out. "What do you mean?"

Kaoru made that laugh again, his hands falling to his pants as he cleaned himself off and fixed his pants. "You know what I mean."

Hikaru frowned. Kaoru had that _voice_ now too. Because despite the fact that Hikaru played at _seme_ in all their little games, Kaoru was always the one who knew everything, who thought things through. His tone said that what he was saying was _important_ but Hikaru couldn't see why.

Maybe he'd caught Kaoru off-guard with his sudden offer and he really didn't want this. Kaoru _had_ been the first one who'd gone off and expanded their little world into one with other people, with _girls_ in it. Maybe he preferred it that way. Was this where he wanted the game to end?

Hikaru didn't like the sound of that, and let his head drop, nosing down into his spot against his brother's chest.

Kaoru had a half-smile on his face as he laid a comforting hand across the back of his brother's head. "Silly Hikaru, I meant I don't know the rules of this game that you want to play, and neither do you. Are you willing to try and find out along the way?"

And then Hikaru laughed. Silly Kaoru, he should already know the answer to something like that! He leaned up to kiss Kaoru anyway, grinning at him. What was going to be so different about this game compared to all the others?

Kaoru smiled, leaning into the kiss. He certainly had an idea, but that would obviously have to come later…

**xxxx**

*shrugs* I run under the assumption that Kaoru, when not running under the logic of teenaged lust, is the one who thinks things through more and goes through the most trouble trying to hide that kind of stuff from his brother at the very beginning. As the latest episode out (read: 15/16) that I watched when writing this chapter seem to agree with me. For now, at least, as episode 20 promises me more twin-revelations that will probably negate everything I've ever guessed. Them's the breaks.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** All Year Around Falling In Love  
**Author:** **mirroredsakura**  
**Fandom:** Ouran High School Host Club  
**Rating:** PG-13 or R, I can't honestly decide  
**Pairing:** HikaruxKaoru  
**Warnings:** More twincest, more talking penis.

**Summary:** ...The twins run into a few problems. Mostly technical problems.

**Disclaimers:** Hahaha no. Not mine.

**Notes:** Still for **miya_fangirl**, still taking horribly long in being written. I apologize. OH. And because this has been bothering me since I wrote it; the bedroom thing. The manga shows that the twins' beds are right next to each other. I forget if the anime does too, but I don't think they do and it's just the one bed. So for the sake of my not-rewriting the scene, they're going to be normal and sleep in their own rooms. Usually. Thus making the comment in-anime "HE'S ALWAYS GOING INTO MY BED" (paraphrased) make more sense. :3 Yes. No one notices stuff like this BUT BECAUSE I CARE—I had to explain. ^_^;

**xxxx**

Bedtime was… different.

Hikaru had a strange feeling he was only just beginning to realize what Kaoru had meant… because seeing the way Kaoru calmly undid the buttons of his shirt and slipped out of it—the shirt, not the buttons, though they went too—was strangely more intimate than it had been just last night. It was _weird_. Like he should either blush or look away or… something.

His penis told him it was _not_ weird, it was sexy and could it please, please, _please_ get some attention as it had been very good all day.

Hikaru slipped his hand between his legs as Kaoru wandered into the bathroom, deferring to its commands, but his penis was feeling particularly adventurous, and his brain was taking sides with it, and they _both_ wanted to try out Kaoru's hand for size.

Hikaru asked them how exactly he would go about asking for such attention.

His penis replied that that was _his_ job to think up, and would he make it quick, please? His brain told him sorry but he was on his own.

Hikaru thought that was rather unhelpful, thank you very much.

Kaoru poked his head out of the bathroom, a toothbrush stuck into the corner of his mouth. "Hikaru, stop being slow… get in here and brush your teeth!"

Hikaru wanted to know _exactly_ when a toothbrush and a dab of frothy white toothpaste dribbling from the corner of the mouth had _ever_ become sexy. But it was, and his penis and his brain unanimously agreed with him. But why was Kaoru in his bathroom anyway?

"Why are you in my bathroom?"

Kaoru shrugged, "All the better to ravish you in."

There was a short silence as Hikaru attempted to find something witty to reply back to that and found none. So he shrugged and waved a hand airily in his twin's direction instead. Kaoru followed suit and shrugged at him again, before he ducked back in rinse his mouth.

Hikaru stared down at his tented boxers. His penis stood up straighter to stare right back at him with its nonexistent eyes. He thought about being embarrassed, decided that was too much work and hauled himself up, following his brother back into the bathroom.

He closed the door nonchalantly behind him like he did every night when he went through his teeth-cleaning processes—and then walked right into a hand on his crotch.

His brain instantly refused to continue working for him and turned to more important matters like kicking every blood cell in his body to their proper place between his legs.

This stopped him short, for completely understandable reasons, and he did manage a _guh?_ sound before he found himself forcefully planted against a sink counter, and capable hands tugging at the waistband of his boxers.

When he managed to focus his eyes again, he looked down to see his brother laughing softly at him, from around a double-handful of penis, which was a very attractive sight if Hikaru had to say so himself, mostly because that was _his_ penis Kaoru was taking care of so eagerly.

"Don't you know I can't tell when you want something?" Kaoru was murmuring quietly. The words were serious, but there was a devious grin on his face, and because his mouth was quite near Hikaru's penis, Hikaru couldn't really respond to the teasing brush of lips and warm breath along his cock with anything more intelligent than a low _nnggh _sound. It quickly turned into a startled gasp and ragged moan when Kaoru put his mouth to much better use and Hikaru's penis was enveloped in slick, wet heat. Oh god could his brother do things with that _tongue!_

"_Kaoru!_" his voice was a hoarse cry of shocked wonder that worked its way up from the bottom of his throat as he bucked his hips up instinctively and gripped the countertop with white-knuckled fingers.

Kaoru didn't altogether appreciate the bucking because that just shoved Hikaru's penis even further down his throat and he was hard-pressed to avoid scraping his teeth along it already, which he didn't think would be very nice at all. There was also that gagging thing, but he got around that by grasping Hikaru's hips and shoving them back against the side of the counter. Whoever said playing uke meant giving up control?

It didn't last very long. Kaoru personally doubted it had much to do with his consummate skill in the ways of the bedroom—bathroom?—and more to do with the fact that Hikaru was simply extremely eager to get off. But oh it _was_ nice to be good at this—or at least _appear_ to be good at this, he wasn't sure if Hikaru was in any state to give him the specifics as to his innate talent at giving head—he'd even managed to pull back in time to avoid having a penis and all its sticky contents down the back of his throat. Call it pride, but Kaoru wasn't eager to finish up his act by gagging and regurgitating the contents of his stomach all over his brother's sparkling clean floors. Very gross, very not-sexy.

Of course, his pulling back at the opportune moment meant he got a faceful instead, and a good deal into his mouth anyway.

It was decidedly mood-crushing—not to mention utterly bizarre—to be reminded of fire hydrants and water hoses, but Kaoru couldn't help the thoughts of a penis-hose as he brought up a hand to swipe at the white stickiness dotting the bottom half of his face with one hand.

Hikaru didn't seem to be in any state to move, considering the boneless way he was sprawled against his countertop, but that didn't stop him from watching each and every move that his brother happened to be making from his spot still kneeling between Hikaru's legs with half-glazed eyes.

Kaoru thought that was a most satisfying and ego-stroking image, thank you very much.

Hikaru thought—when he could think again, that is—that he would need a manual as to what should come next, especially with the way Kaoru was watching him, sitting back on his haunches and idly licking at the come on his fingers like an unspoken reminder of Hikaru's own actions earlier that day. Was he supposed to say something? _Thank_ him?

How do you say "Thank you, brother dear, for that most mind-blowing of blowjobs, have you done this before?" anyway?

That didn't mean Hikaru didn't feel as if he should. Somehow.

…Maybe with flowers?

Why would a man want to receive flowers, anyway?

And he couldn't really just up and snatch them out of the vase on the corner table to flourish at his brother, could he?

The cleaning up led to more awkwardness. Not the cleaning up itself—that was easily fixed with a warm wet towel, and set Kaoru purring in contentment—but the stuff after that.

"…Right. So. Time to go to bed."

"Right."

"So I'm going… sleep well, Hikaru."

"Yeah. G'night to you too, Kaoru."

There was a silence.

It was too quiet in the house, Hikaru decided. Entirely too quiet. Where _were_ the girls anyway, since they were always underfoot at the most inopportune times, shouldn't it follow that they be there at the times when they'd make a distraction too?

And then there was more silence.

Obviously not.

Then Kaoru was saying goodnight and turning and moving towards the doorway and Hikaru felt that _feeling_ he got when he was all by himself in his bed, how he didn't want to be left behind, didn't want to be alone. It was a stupid feeling. Childish. He squared his jaw and watched as Kaoru reached for the door handle… _and pulled the door shut_.

While he was still in the room.

Hikaru's room.

With a half-smile over his shoulder, Kaoru flicked off the main lights and padded back to the bed, crawling in beside his brother. "Silly Kaoru," he murmured as he arranged his arms around his brother's shoulders, "you know I can't leave when you look at me like that."

"You weren't even looking."

"You don't think I can't see?" Kaoru retorted, watching his brother's cheeks redden in the filtered glow of the moonlight through the window. Embarrassment usually got Hikaru on the defensive and so he hastened to continue, "Who could resist your smoldering gaze, after all?"

He was teasing, but Hikaru didn't seem to be so tense after that.

**x**

でも夏が来たなら きれいな花火をしよう

_(But if the summer comes, there'll be pretty fireworks)_

**x**

The regular Host Club hours were canceled that day to make ready for that night's festivities. The Hitachin brothers seemed to consider this a cause for celebration and a most excellent chance to sling their arms over Haruhi's shoulders, and flirt shamelessly with her while dancing in front of Tono. Half the fun was making Tono squirm and sulk in a corner with a container of instant ramen, half was drawing a laugh or two out of the girl with their jokes which were both good things in the collective Hitachiin book.

And despite the official cancellation, since the preparations themselves were for the menial laborers hired for such tasks, the Host Club had plenty of time to do some unofficial hosting in the school halls. The girls took very well to this decision. The boys took notes.

The Hitachiin brothers were in their element.

"Look out!"

Several textbooks landed with loud individual _thump!_s on the ground, mere inches away from Kaoru's feet.

"My books!" he wailed theatrically, striking a pose against a nearby column, tears artfully glittering in his eyes, "oh no, now look at what I've done!" He was smiling internally to himself. Who—outside of Haruhi—carried books around in this school anyway? That was what personal slaves were for, obviously, but no one else seemed to notice this caught up in the rapture of their brilliant display.

"Oh you foolish Kaoru, so very clumsy… if those books had fallen and hurt you in some way…" Hikaru swept his younger twin up into his arms, and leaned in close to look deep into his eyes.

Kaoru's eyes were laughing merrily at the joke, and though his lips were parted in a soft 'o' of seeming romantic surprise, the corners were turned up in a barely perceptible smirk just like always.

What _wasn't_ just like always was the sudden, unexplainable urge to lean in and kiss him hard; to push him back against that column, run the fingers of one hand through that messy hair, yank the crisp white shirt out of his pants with the other so that he could run his hand up underneath the fabric, and grind their hips together regardless of exactly who and how many were watching.

Hikaru blinked. His brain shrugged and sided with his penis's "Can I get some yet?" request.

Which was a crazy and insane and a foolish thing to think of doing. In _public_, anyway. Yeah, he knew that.

But Hikaru was nothing if not impulsive—sometimes that was probably a bad thing.

Oh, not the public fornication thing. Not for free, at any rate.

Kaoru could feel his brother's arms tensing and tightening around him, could see the tawny gold of his brother's eyes darken into a dusky copper and he barely held back a gasp as his brother grabbed him by the shoulders and spun them adroitly to the opposite side of the column. He barely bit back a groan as Hikaru stole several seconds of the crowd's surprise to lean in and deliver several kisses down the line of his jaw, before turning his attention—_oh god he was using his tongue and mmm teeth_—to Kaoru's throat. He pulled away, just as the first of the girls rounded upon them, intent on catching a glimpse of the twins' secret tryst.

They were Host Club members. Impeccable timing was something you learn in that profession.

Kaoru was still glad he had a column to lean up against, and Hikaru to hold him steady because he had the sudden suspicion that left to his own devices, he'd probably allow himself to melt into a little pile of boneless goo on the marble tiles. And damn, he was probably blushing again.

Well no one would question that.

…They'd probably question Hikaru's blushing though. Because Hikaru was blushing, and hiding his face behind his sleeve in a gesture that was all too similar to Kaoru's own when he faked hiding a blush.

Of course, now they were left with hundreds of female eyes watching them intently, with no backup scene to play up. This was less than good. Kaoru had a thought that slipping back into their totally antisocial nature would probably not be a very good fallback plan. He considered calling up the orchestra so they could waltz away to safety.

"_OHOHOHO!_" Laughter sounded as Renge came racing into the fray, a cloud of dust in her wake. "It's perfect! It's beautiful! Can't you see the passion, the utter, utter _MOE!_" She whirled around to face the crowds, "It's wonderful! And _just_ the plot of my newly-finished _Doki Doki Twins_!" Within seconds, she had a copy of the much-lauded doujinshi in her hand and immediately began flailing it at the audience. Within a few more seconds, it was being fought over by the hordes.

For those too far away to dive for the publication, Mori immediately whipped off the upper half of his clothes with a flourish, hefted a handy axe, and began chopping the blocks of wood that were also inexplicably nearby for seemingly just this purpose with a vigor that sent those who turned to him swooning in delight.

It was perfect. It was pandemonium.

And then Haruhi took hold of each of the twins by the ear and daintily dragged them off. A few seconds later, she had shoved them into an empty classroom, shut the door, hung up a neatly-printed—neon lights were too expensive, and think of the electricity!— "IN USE" sign, and walked back to save Renge if the others hadn't already.

No one could say that the Host Club didn't take care of their own.

**x**

Back in their empty classrooms, the twins were facing a dilemma.

Well, the first problem was simple. As was the way of the world, Hikaru had landed squarely on top of Kaoru and had managed to crack the both of their heads together so that they were both seeing stars for the first few minutes. That went away fast enough.

The second problem was what to do next. Hikaru quickly solved this problem by going down on his elbows and knees to cradle Kaoru's head in his hands, and kiss him hard on the lips. This was done with a good deal of moaning and what sounded like throaty purrs from both parties. There was also a good deal of grinding that their hips were doing, and somehow their shirts had gotten yanked up out of their pants and unbuttoned so hands were doing a good deal of wandering too.

Hikaru's eyes had gone heavy-lidded, and his breath was coming in gasps as he pulled away enough to continue kissing his brother's face, tracing the line he'd drawn earlier in the hallway, pausing at his throat only to knead the flesh with teeth and tongue just above the point where his brother's pulse pounded.

Kaoru's hands had long since wandered to the fly of Hikaru's pants and unzipped and pulled his brother's cock free. He made short work of his own—fly, not cock, thank you very much—and soon their pants were hanging loose off their hips as they moved against each other.

"_I want to be inside you_," groaned Hikaru, nipping at Kaoru's ear.

"_I… I…_" Kaoru managed to gasp, as Hikaru rubbed up against him again, "_I—_wait _how?_"

And that was their third problem.

It was a very big problem.

"_No_ Hikaru, that is _not_ going to fit in there like that! You'll _tear me apart!_"

The brother in question groaned a deep heartfelt groan as he pulled away, "Then what am I supposed to _do?_"

Kaoru wasn't sure, but if his brother was waiting around for him to grow a self-lubricating anus, he had a long time coming. He told Hikaru as much.

"Lubricate, lubricate… can we _do_ something about that?"

"Oh your efforts are certainly turning me on," Kaoru muttered, wracking his admittedly-hazy brain for ideas, "Simply ravishing the way you're constantly thinking of me and my welfare all this time."

"You're not helping," Hikaru moaned, slumping over against him, before catching Kaoru's lip between his teeth in a reproving nip.

"I—mmm—well, there's your… mouth…?" Because really, all Kaoru could concentrate on at the moment was Hikaru's mouth and why it wasn't right where it'd been just a few minutes ago.

Hikaru pulled back. "You may be my twin brother, and I may love you, but I am _not_ putting my tongue up your ass."

...

"…Yeah. No." he paused. "Now what?"

Hikaru decided they needed help in this matter.

**x**

秋が来たなら夢を追いかける

_(If the fall comes, I'll chase after the dream)_

**x**

Haruhi's dad was understanding. Very understanding.

…_Too _damned understanding, if you asked Hikaru.

"_AH!_" Ranko-san breathed, pushing aside a lock of long dark hair and simply _glowing_ with happiness.

Hikaru had the sudden impression he knew what people talked about when they talked about brides or soon-to-be mothers—two things which he most certainly hoped Haruhi's father would not be anytime soon, if only for the sanctity of his own mind.

"At last someone to whom I can give The Talk! Oh Haruhi would _never _come to me for such advice you know and it _is _wonderful to have someone look to you for help… Oh no, now where shall I begin… You see! When a man and a woman love each other very, very much…"

Hikaru personally thought he could skip this part as anyone past the age of fourteen is bound to know all too much about that and it didn't really apply to his situation anyway… But what was the proper etiquette for interrupting a commoner's speech? What if Ranko-san got offended? But he was sure it wasn't a good idea to start napping in front of the man either, so… "Er… actually, that isn't…"

The other man lit with understanding, though that could just have been the reflected glare of his newly-buffed fingernails that he hid his face behind in a gleeful "_Ohohohoho!_"

"_Ara_, well why didn't you say so in the first place, my dear boy? Don't worry… I _know _how these things are… You see when a man and another man love each other very, very much…"

Hikaru found out there _were_ still things in the world capable of making him blush.

Especially when the man thought he needed to go further and explain what happens when two men and a woman love each other very, very much as well as when two men love women and each other very, very much and the surgical enhancements that could be made in order to facilitate said love…

Hikaru decided it was a good time to press a package of tea leaves into the man's hands, babble a few words of thanks and general gift-giving-ness before he took off at a mad dash for the car and subsequently the nearest place where he could have his brain scrubbed and thoroughly cleansed.

**x**

Kaoru sidled into the 3rd Music Room.

He paused. Shuffled back out.

Then he scoffed at himself for being silly and shuffled back in, closing the door behind him firmly though he never quite let go of the handle. It was empty. It _looked_ empty at any rate, but you never know if someone might toss a banana at your feet or pop up out of the floor.

...Although actually that was exactly the reason why he'd come. The person popping out of the floor, not the banana-throwing, although when it came to Houshakuji Renge, the two tended come as a pair for reasons no one was quite sure of yet.

He stared at the floor. Nothing. He tapped it lightly with the sole of his shoe. Still nothing. He hunched down and poked it. A slight tremor, but still nothing.

Nonplussed, he called out, "Oi, Otaku!"

Somewhere a cricket began to chirp. (Then it was quickly stampeded on by the school janitorial staff and ceased to chirp, but not before its point had already been made.)

He frowned. Took a breath. "_Kyouyaaaaa_ don't take your clothes off _heeere!_"

Silence.

Then…

"_OOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOOOO!_"

Amidst the thrumming of heavy machinery, the Host Club's female administrative assistant rose majestically from the floor, twirling deliriously in what looked like a striking facsimile of Sailor Venus. And then she paused for there was no Kyouya in sight. Nor was there a Kaoru in sight either, except for a couple of fingers clinging desperately to the edge of the gaping hole in the floor she'd opened up with her appearance. Well _that_ at least she could help remedy. She sent the monkey to help him. The monkey gave the fingers a banana. She decided that wasn't good enough so with a swift snap of her wrist, she had a chain of glittering gold-shaped links wrapped securely around the redhead's waist and was reeling him in like a dead trout on her line.

Minutes later, he was back on the neatly-polished tiled floor and Renge was busy pawing through the photos he'd yanked out of his breast pocket—it was necessary to keep something with which to pacify women on your person at all times if you were part of the Host Club for successful escapes and, in this case, extracting information.

It helped that Renge could see right through his bribery as soon as she'd regained her composure—and had stuffed the photos of a half-naked Kyouya down her shirt for safe-keeping. She crossed her legs daintily, smoothed down her short orange skirt with daintily-gloved hands—Kaoru decided this would be a bad time to inform her that orange was _not_ her color—and smiled knowingly down at him. "Now what would you like to know?"

She was quite sure she knew what he wanted to know but it was more fun to try and make him ask her directly.

"Erm."

Well that was boring. And she had been in the middle of accepting a date with her beloved Miyabi—the cursor was still set on the 'I accept your loving invitation!', he was _waiting_ for her answer!—that she was quite eager to return to.

"Oh fine, fine, fine," she told him, reaching over and scrabbling through the chest that suddenly popped up next to her throne. "Here you go."

After quickly depositing a stack of doujinshi on his head, she flicked the switch once more and was twirling back down into the depths of her underground lair with a last, triumphant "_OOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHO!_"

Kaoru had time to blink and then stare in horrified fascination at the sea of yaoi spread about him. With some trepidation, he picked one up with little preparation as to what was to come and began to read.

Twenty minutes later he was striding out of the room with his face a mottled crimson in a frenzied search for the nearest place where he could have his brain scrubbed and thoroughly cleansed.

It couldn't _really_ go that _deep_, could it?

**x**

The Host Club activities were awkward that day. Neither of the twins seemed able to look each other straight in the eye without blushing. Which wouldn't have been a problem under normal circumstances if only they both hadn't also become inexplicably tongue-tied in the process. So the unanimous decision was that the forbidden brotherly love act—that was fast beginning to feel less like an act, which _should_have made it easier, but clearly logic didn't work like that—could be forgone for a day. Not that this affected the number of their clientele in the least—they just spent a lot more time respectively romancing the ladies in their devilish Hitachin way.

It was just less fun. When Hikaru looked with delicious romantic fervor into the girls' eyes, there were only hearts and sparkles which soon got boring because there was no laughter at the very depths like the big joke it was supposed to be. And they all ended up primly-dressed puddles on the colorful carpet of autumn leaves anyway.

Which meant a lot of time was spent casting awkward looks at his brother—the girls were perfectly fine with this, they spent a lot of time looking at his brother too. There were just more hearts floating around their heads than his because he could be sneaky like ninja and avoid having his attentions detected so easily.

And then Haruhi walked past, stared at him for a moment, and then grabbed him by the ear.

"You're being silly," she informed him.

He blinked at her, a cup of tea halfway to his lips.

She ignored him for the time being and cast a beatific smile at the girls he had been entertaining, pleading small problem, nothing at all to worry about, just wanted to set some small things right, and would the ladies mind…?

"Oh no, no, no, not at all!" bleated the one, fanning herself with her handkerchief, while the other spoke up to say, "Go on, go on, we can wait, of course we can!"

Hikaru blinked at her again. She was a natural. It still took some getting used to.

"Ikko Hikaru."

Well, he couldn't really argue with that.

"You're being silly," she informed, moments later once they were out in the empty hallway and behind a closed door.

"You already said that," he reminded her.

"You're changing the subject," she retorted, her fingers flying as she methodically folded a sheet of brilliantly-colored paper into the semblance of a crane.

This caused him to pause. The paper bird, not her words. "What are you doing?"

"It's for Friday. And don't change the subject."

"What _is_ our subject then?"

She was silent for a moment and upon finishing one crane, placed it delicately in Hikaru's hand and busied herself with another sheet. "Don't be stupid," she said finally. "Don't screw this up."

Hikaru didn't see how that was at _all_ helpful. He said as much.

Haruhi sighed and handed him another crane. "Don't just look at him. Talk to him. He's the only person who can understand you completely, maybe even more than you understand yourself, and you're not allowed to lose that."

Sometimes… sometimes Haruhi in all her aloof, commoner sensibility made too much sense to ignore.

…And sometimes that aloof, commoner sensibility made so much sense, that he didn't know what he could do with or about it.

"R…Right…"

Finishing off another crane, she gathered the ones he held with one scoop of her hand, clearly finished with all she had to say. "Well I'm glad we had this talk," she told him cheerfully, turning back towards the doors.

He blinked.

And then she turned right around. "Oh, I nearly forgot." Reaching into a pocket, she tossed something to him as she slipped through the door with a sunny smile, "I hope you have fun."

Hikaru looked down and felt his jaw drop open and his mind stop functioning completely for the _second time_ that day.

What was he supposed to _do_ with cherry-flavored lubricant?

He slumped down and curled himself up in order of the hallway, huddled in on himself. The air around him darkened until he was a dark spot in the sunny brilliance of the school hallway. Students, well-used to Tamaki's displays of angst did not know how to deal with this new animal, and sidled around the thatch of red hair surreptitiously, whispering to themselves as they passed.

This was a harder game to play than he'd thought it'd be.

**xxxx**

Ending is iffy, I guess? I don't know, but I've dragged this chapter on long enough so posting I am. :3 Ignoring the fact that haha, yes, Hikaru's words of attempted sexy make me laugh at myself too.


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